If you're thinking once again that this summer is not a "good time" to take a break from the grind, especially with open-enrollment season just around the corner, you're in good company. Nearly half of American workers don't take their full paid vacation time
I get it. We want to do great work for our clients and don't want to drop the ball, burden our co-workers, come back to a mountain of catch-up work, or put our jobs in jeopardy. These feelings are amplified even further for professionals whose job it is to help see to the needs of others, like HR and benefits. The issue is that it's nearly impossible to design policies and resources that really feel useful and appropriate when you are burned out yourself and lack the resilience and spaciousness of mind to do so. We have to walk the talk in order to cultivate work cultures that value excellence over perfection, outcomes over "face time" and humanity over rigid process.
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When we're hustling and grinding to do it all, we can easily fall for the myth that if we keep working harder, faster and longer we can get to the bottom of our to-do list and meet all the demands of the world. But, of course, we never do. The more we get done, the more gets added to our plate. Instead, we become more and more exhausted, sick and out of touch with what matters most. Even taking a much-needed break can feel like too much effort. Once we've arrived at that point, we're likely already burned out and need rest and realignment more than ever.
Here are a few stark facts that might make you think twice about canceling on yourself and your basic human needs to rest, recharge and enjoy yourself this year:
- Workplace-related stress claims an estimated 120,000 lives each year in the U.S.
alone . - It also accounts for up to $190 billion in health care
costs (and this doesn't even include lost work hours due to illness). - The top two regrets of the dying
are : "I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me" and "I wish I hadn't worked so hard." No. 5 is: "I wish I had let myself be happier."
Nearly
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Why don't we take this time, even though research (and our intuition, if we would listen to it) show that cultivating a healthy balance is essential? One reason is that it's still deeply ingrained in American work culture that if you don't give 100% to your paid work (thereby abdicating responsibility for the rest of your life), you are not truly committed. It's the chief explanation for the current epidemic of burnout, which 89% of U.S. workers
Burnout is not a result of doing things "wrong." It's the result of hustling and grinding so freaking hard to do it all "right" (by societal standards) and still feeling like a failure. It is built over years of small self-betrayals in which we put our own needs, wishes and joy last on our to-do list in an attempt to be everything to everyone (except ourselves). If we abandon ourselves long enough, the result is a terrifying state of misalignment with our gifts, values and soul-crushing disconnection from ourselves and others.
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We've all heard the adage "can't pour from an empty cup," and it's true. The bottom line is that it's not possible to maintain a healthy lifestyle, relationships, or anything resembling a rich, joy-filled way of being when activities related to the other elements of your life are nowhere to be found on your schedule. Think about it: how creative, connected and engaged can your work possibly be when you're hanging on by a fried, burned-out thread?
The highest performers take setting boundaries and establishing healthy expectations for their life-work balance (in that order) seriously. They care deeply about their work yet clearly understand that paid work is but one element of a vibrant, multidimensional life. They nourish themselves, their relationships and passions. For them, work is not primary, with everything else squeezing in around it where it can maybe sort of fit in. Life is primary, and the values, people, paid and unpaid work, healthy habits and other interests they care about are given their due space and time within it.
After all, if we don't decide that we and our loved ones matter and act accordingly, who will? And none of us are getting any younger, so each day we push away ourselves and our partners, kids and dreams is one less day we'll ever have to enjoy them.
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You know the best part? When ordered properly, both the life and work are so much better for it. When we're centered and fulfilled in our lives, our work is more creative and higher quality, and we show up with the humanity needed to connect with others and lead our teams. We're also so much more relaxed and fulfilled in our personal lives, showing up with more patience, care and joy for those most important to us.
This summer season I encourage you to not only disconnect from the grind, take some restorative time away and make some happy memories with your favorite people, but also reflect a bit. Take inventory of what's most important to you, what lights you up and ask yourself how these align with how you actually spend your time. If you feel some adjustments are needed, take the first step toward putting what you value most at the top of your priority list, so that at the end of the day, the things that fall off the list aren't the ones that matter in the end.
