The double-edged sword of working for a family operation

Working for a family business is both a unique privilege and consistent thorn in my side. It means that I can chat with the boss about my hopes and dreams on a Saturday — while also being scolded about the need to produce more and respond to a myriad of emails sent that morning. It means I will always be seen as the boss's daughter, regardless of my achievements. On the other hand, I've been gifted an unrelenting and unwavering mentor. It's a distinctive blend of inspiration and disintegration of work-life-balance that keeps things interesting.

I remember going into the office when I was a tween so I could answer phones while my father took the team out to lunch. I was always struck by the chaotic, tense energy that overtook the office as his lead account manager ushered everyone out. My father, an insurance industry icon, was usually uttering a few expletives as he was trying to wrap up six different projects, a phone call, losing some pile of paperwork that was right in front of him, and almost levitating off the ground as he threw back his third latte of the day. 

Read more:  20 cities with the best work-life balance and mental health

My sister's godmother, our most tenured account manager, chatting with my mother, the bookkeeper, her life-long friend and my grandmother, my father's first employee who worked for free for the first two years while he got the business off the ground, all impatiently standing outside in wait. Leaving in a relative huff, I always wondered, why anyone would work for a family business?! But they all came back, their laughter echoing through the halls. 

I can only imagine what others across our industry who are in business with family members must feel. It can place us in both very comfortable and uncomfortable positions, but clients do appreciate the family atmosphere and warmth that their benefit advisers share. Family-owned enterprises make up 27.3% of all U.S. businesses, according to the latest available statistics. No doubt, the employee benefits advisory field has its share of family run operations.

It's been 20-plus years since those days, and we are no longer a small family agency. We are now part of a top-20 national firm, representing exponential growth, yet maintaining enough autonomy to design total rewards programs that allow companies to recruit and retain skilled employees. We've gone through many iterations along our journey, continuing a legacy built on a familial culture. Through those milestones, I've developed some strong opinions about the joys and pitfalls of the family biz. 

Read more:  Whatever challenges employees face, the right work environment can help

We focus on equal opportunity; however, family has a leg-up. I've benefited from witnessing the details of my mentor's roles within the company and whose paternal side has encouraged me to exercise my own skillset. 

I was asked to sit in, silently, on employee meetings. I was handed the phone when an irate client had an issue that needed to be resolved. I've sat in the car for hundreds of hours, listening to my dad dictate email responses, or negotiate deals with carriers. I watched him educate clients on all things benefits from employee survey's to cold, boring, compliance regulations. I didn't always realize it then, but I can hear him now in my presentations, emails and phone calls, and I am so grateful.

Direct communication is another advantage of a family business. It's easier to share ideas and feedback directly with decision-makers. However, this directness can lead to blunt conversations or disagreements, often challenging to navigate. Sleeping on it is always the best option.

The openness about the future, succession and long-term planning is also both a joy and a challenge. It's been amazing to be involved in discussions about where the business was headed, to have a clear sense of direction and align my own goals with the company's vision. On the flip side, these discussions were intense. Family does not negate ego. For instance, I couldn't stand it when other people had their own opinions – it slowed my vision down. How could my family not just immediately see I was right?!

Read more:  A how-to guide on keeping political conversations productive at work

It's important to recognize that while we work extremely hard to cultivate a supportive culture, employees are not part of the family. It's tricky when companies claim to be a "family." To me that means professional and personal lines are being blurred and people can lose sight of work-life balance. That doesn't mean I haven't gone above and beyond for a co-worker, and many are good friends outside of work. But either way, boundaries are essential to keep a balance.

Being a part of a close-knit team where everyone knows each other well will indeed foster a supportive and collaborative environment. I also appreciate the long-term stability. The focus on sustainable growth and long-term vision provides me with a sense of job security and feeling that I'm contributing to something that will endure.

Despite some of the challenges I've faced, I will forever be grateful for the time I've spent working with my family and the safety net provided for me to try and fail, sometimes repeatedly. As a team lead and mentor who directs our philanthropic efforts, now I can extend the same safe space for any co-worker that wants to grow within our business.