Working parents have to toe the line between family and career every day — but it's becoming increasingly clear this balancing act isn't sustainable.
RethinkFirst, a tools and training platform for employers, educators and behavioral health professionals, surveyed 2,000 working parents this summer on how much time they take off from work to care for their kids'
With back-to-school season in full swing, the survey reminds employers that the academic year still poses challenges for
Read more:
"I often hear parents say they don't feel they can be both a good parent and a good employee at the same time," she says. "When you want to do your best, it's a terrible feeling to think you're always dropping the ball in one place or another. If you go to work but your child needs you, you feel guilty. If you take time off work for your child and miss an important meeting, you feel unreliable."
This anxiety only deepens for parents of neurodiverse children. RethinkFirst found that 83% of parents with neurodiverse kids had to take time off work, compared to 69% of parents with neurotypical kids.
"When you have a neurodivergent child, you juggle extra logistics that other parents and employers often don't even realize," says Nelson. "Having to leave work because of extra school meetings, taking a full day off because the psychiatrist you've been waiting six months to see has an opening for your child at 11 a.m. on a Tuesday, having to skip meetings to be present for therapy appointments — the list goes on and on."
Read more:
And while women tend to take on more of the child care responsibilities than their male partners, RethinkFirst's survey found that
Both men and women missed work at similar rates, given certain variables. In fact, 39% of men who were married or lived with a partner and made less than $100,000 a year had to step away from work for their kid, compared to 38% of women who were single, divorced or widowed and earned more than $100,000 a year. These two demographics were neck and neck for the group of parents who took the most time off, according to RethinkFirst.
"While the amount of time taken away from work to address child-related challenges is still stressful, it is encouraging to see fathers sharing more in these issues," says Nelson. "What this tells us is men and women are both impacted by difficult parenting issues that have negative implications for their work attendance."
Read more:
This also signals to employers that this isn't an issue isolated to one gender or group of parents. All working parents are struggling to be present at work to some degree, and it's hurting families and businesses. RethinkFirst estimates that working parent absenteeism costs employers $65 billion annually in lost productivity.
Nelson advises employers to offer benefits geared towards parents, from child care assistance to family coaches to help parents overcome certain challenges at home. And despite the return-to-office wave, Nelson stresses that employers offer flexibility where they can. This not only means leaving remote work options on the table, but encouraging employees to step away from their desks in order to pick up their kids or head to doctor's appointments during the workday.
"That helps parents feel as though they don't always have to choose between work or their children," says Nelson. "When parents can get support from their employers for their most stressful parenting struggles, that can allow them to be more present and focused at work."
