Growing one’s family always comes with its challenges — but for aspiring parents who identify as
According to a survey by the Family Equality Council, nearly half of LGBTQ millennials are actively planning to grow their families, and 1.6 million are considering biological paths. This means assisted reproductive care, whether it be procedures like surrogacy, insemination or in vitro fertilization, is essential to many queer families. But are employers keeping LGBTQ talent in mind when setting up family-building benefits?
“Historically, fertility benefits require an infertility diagnosis, which is defined by a heterosexual couple who has been trying to get pregnant for several months unsuccessfully,” says Leslie Guckert-Neitzel, chief human resources officer at Carrot Fertility, a family-building benefits provider. “Ultimately, our mission is to make fertility care and family forming accessible and affordable to everyone who wants it, regardless of their age, sexual orientation, gender identity and marital status.”
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This mission is extended to Carrot employees, who have access to $15,000 worth of financial assistance alongside all the services Carrot provides to its customers, including a care team, a global clinical network and administrative guidance for those accessing medical treatment or connecting with adoption agencies. Guckert-Neitzel notes that Carrot also vets clinics to determine if they can adequately provide for LGBTQ patients — a necessary step in ensuring its fertility benefits are truly inclusive. The Center of American Progress found that 7% of those who identify as queer said a healthcare provider refused to recognize their child or same-sex partner, while 8% said that healthcare providers refused to see them because of their perceived sexual orientation.
Carrot’s investment in fertility benefits does make a difference to its employees. A queer-identifying, Carrot employee who has asked to remain anonymous, recalls how she didn’t think she could freeze her eggs without her Carrot benefits. At 35, the employee decided she wanted to pursue single parenthood, and wanted to freeze her eggs to buy more time to decide the right path for her. But the procedure itself can cost anywhere between $10,000 to $15,000, while storage can cost $500 to $800 a year.
“Many people have talked to me about how expensive it is to have children, but I was realizing how expensive it may be for me to even try and have children,” she says. “When I decided I would be using a sperm donor to start my family, I realized that I was going to have to navigate a very different journey than some people I knew in different sex relationships.”
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Fortunately, Carrot covered the entire egg-freezing process, including the medication. The Carrot employee also emphasizes the importance of access to 24/7 care support. Between having to administer injections twice a day before the egg freezing procedure, and deciding between an anonymous donor or a known donor, she says she felt constantly overwhelmed. One evening, she called a clinician to walk her through the final injection after becoming panicked that she would do it incorrectly.
“It’s important employers understand that a meaningful fertility benefit should be more than just financial assistance,” she says. “Another [barrier] is navigating what can be an incredibly nuanced and complex journey. People need support and guidance, and they should be able to access it without having to ask their employers directly.”
Employers have to make it obvious that their family-building benefits and parental leave is for everyone through their policies, and the wording within said policies, explains Guckert-Neitzel. For example, Carrot offers every new parent 14 weeks of leave. Whether the parent bears the child or not, they get leave — hence why it’s called “new parent leave,” rather than maternal or paternal leave. Guckert-Neitzel also points out how Carrot remains conscious of pronouns and gender identities in any information distilled to employees and customers.
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“Instead of saying biologically related, we say genetically related; instead of saying both sexes, we say all sexes; and instead of saying gender reassignment, we say gender affirmation,” says Guckert-Neitzel. “Our orientation for new hires is all about inclusive language. So we actually embed that into our culture from day one.”
In other words, inclusivity has to be evident every step of the way for employees, from the language used at the company to what the benefits offer. Even if a company offers great financial assistance for fertility care and adoption, the culture still has to be supportive of family-building for all — and account for the uncertainty and variety of experiences that come with starting a family, the Carrot employee says.
“[Employers] need to cover all paths to parenthood,” she says. “Employers who are proactive and seek out a fertility benefit that is inclusive to all their employees are sending a message to LGBTQ employees that they are seen and valued.”
