Last month, health benefits business owner and public speaker Lester Morales
"If the stats are correct, we are surrounded by a bunch of men who are not doing well," he says. "How do we start acknowledging that there is somebody sitting next to us who's not OK and open the door for a conversation?"
The CDC reports that of the nearly 50,000 suicides (out of 1.6 million attempts) from 2022, almost 80% were men. While suicide is often connected to a
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Men are less likely to talk about or seek help for mental wellness concerns, due to factors such as societal stigma and general lack of knowledge about mental health, and their conditions are more likely to go untreated. In 2021, The National Mental Health Association found that only 40% of men with a reported mental illness received care for their condition, versus over half of women.
And letting mental health decline isn't just harmful to people's well-being — it also has a massive impact on businesses: Data from The Meadows Mental Health Policy Institute puts the employer cost for depression alone around $187.8 billion per year.
While males in certain industries (construction, agriculture and manufacturing, among others) and demographics (American Indian, Alaska Native and white) are at greater risk for mental health struggles, life-altering circumstances do not discriminate, and it benefits all men to take a proactive role in erasing the stigma that says they are expected to simply power through hard times. A good place to start is by building trusting relationships with other men.
"We need to redefine masculinity," says Dr. Joel Axler, a psychiatrist and strategic benefits adviser with Brown and Brown. "It's okay to have connections with other males and show vulnerability."
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Dr. Axler notes that the subject of men's mental health is becoming more normalized, with public figures like Tom Brady, Brad Pitt and Michael Phelps speaking out about their personal struggles and the benefits of therapy. Great role models can also be found in the workplace, he says, noting the power behind a male leader promoting mental health and wellness by sharing his own experiences, coupled with employee resource and peer groups, good health benefits and flexibility.
"It's about work-life balance, and employers need to be flexible in allowing that," says Dr. Axler. The steps he encourages many of his male patients to take to combat loneliness and establish relationships — talk to people, join social organizations like book clubs or sports teams — are things that can be done with organized groups in the workplace, and don't have to be limited to men only.
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To make sure positive thoughts outweigh the negative, Morales maintains a gratitude journal and makes a conscious effort to connect with a core group of male friends on a regular basis. As an employer, he checks in with and promotes work-life balance among his employees, and sets an example by taking time for himself to refresh with travel, exercise and time with friends and family. When it comes to creating a culture where people feel comfortable talking about what they need, the leader has to go first, he says.
"You have to stand on a stage and say, 'This is important,'" he says. "You want it to be human-centric, but you also want it to be ROI positive, [and] when you feel better as a human, you perform better at work."
Despite his openness, Morales can't always shake the pressure to only convey an image of strength and success to the world, and the feedback he got from his LinkedIn post proves he is not alone. Feeling more comfortable with discussions around men's mental health is a matter of progress, not perfection, and every step counts, he says.
"We all struggle," he says. "It was amazing to share or see what people struggle with. If there are people around you hurting, open the door to them."
