When Roe v. Wade was overturned earlier this year, bodily autonomy and safety were put into question for millions of Americans. For Kaitlin Soule, a family therapist and mother of three, it also marked the moment she knew she had to share her story.
Soule had an abortion in 2016. She had given birth to two daughters 15 months apart, and Soule's second daughter was only seven months old when she became pregnant again. Soule knew she couldn't experience another pregnancy so soon.
"By having an abortion, I was meeting my needs," says Soule. "This decision on Roe v. Wade could cost women their mental health, financial security, agency, power and life. It could cost everything."
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Access to abortion care is now in question or outright banned in 22 states, and November's midterm election has the highest number of abortion-related ballot measures on record in a single year. But for Soule and Alex Robinson Hunnell, marketing director and mother of a 10-month-old son, access to a safe abortion was the right choice for them, their families and their future.
"I would not have been able to raise a child living in New York with the job I had," Hunnell says. "The reality is that if I did not have access to a legal and safe abortion, I would have sought alternative options."
Hunnell was 25 when she had an abortion. At the time, she was on birth control, specifically Ortho Tri-Cyclen. But her abortion provider noted that the medication was not very effective, sharing that at least once a week a patient came into the clinic pregnant while using it.
"I took my birth control religiously — I was so sure that I wouldn't get pregnant that I went to the doctor thinking I had the flu," says Hunnell. "When I found out, I knew pretty much immediately that I would end that pregnancy."
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Hunnell knew she wasn't ready to have a child at the time, and when she did get pregnant nearly a decade later, her pregnancy was difficult. She found out she had hyperemesis, which is persistent severe vomiting leading to weight loss and dehydration during pregnancy. Hunnell has no doubts that she made the right choice.
"I have no regrets," says Hunnell. "[Motherhood] wasn't feasible at the time, but now I'm married and have a family that is very involved in helping us raise our son. It takes a village and back then I did not have a village I would be able to rely on."
For Soule, who was already a mother of two when she had her abortion, the choice didn't feel as clear-cut.
"The mom guilt came in because we live in a society that expects us to give up ourselves entirely to motherhood," says Soule. "But I can't be the only mom who already had children and decided to have an abortion."
In fact, Soule is far from alone — according to the CDC, 60% of women seeking an abortion already have a child, and one-third have two or more children.
"I couldn't even imagine caring for myself through another pregnancy, let alone caring for another child," she says. "I just remember feeling so different than I ever felt being pregnant before. The weight of the world was on my shoulders."
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Looking back, Soule can see she was struggling with postpartum depression and anxiety as she juggled caring for two babies, while also pursuing her therapist license. While she believes she was making the best decision for herself and her family, she admits to feeling guilty.
That guilt was compounded by the challenge of seeking appropriate care: the physician who helped Soule through her first two pregnancies told her he didn't provide abortion care anymore and referred her somewhere else.
"That felt like a literal gut punch," says Soule. "I felt like I was being shamed."
Hunnell also recalls her primary care physician dismissing her needs entirely.
"I said I wanted to end this pregnancy, and he ignored me and prescribed prenatal vitamins," she says. "I stopped going to him after that experience."
Both women can remember feeling a sense of external judgment, whether from healthcare providers or society at large. Soule didn't start sharing her experience until more recently, in hopes of lessening the stigma around abortions. Hunnel underlines that access to abortion care is vital to family planning and the ability for Americans to shape their own lives.
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And given the uncertainty of where state and federal governments will land on this issue, employers may be a critical line of support for workers seeking reproductive care. But as abortion benefits continue to be debated by employers and things like travel stipends and inclusive health care policies become even more of a necessity, Soule and Hunnell advise employers to keep the importance of agency top of mind. Offering flexibility to see physicians and therapists, as well as paid parental leave and child care support are essential — in other words, workers should have control over their time.
Soule even encourages employers to connect with motherhood-focused organizations like MomsRising and Mother Honestly to stay engaged in what challenges parents face and may possibly face after the midterm results.
Ultimately, both Soule and Hunnell are asking employers to stand with workers who may have been impacted by the state-wide restrictions and bans on abortion.
"Knowing that my experience may no longer be feasible for other women saddens me deeply," says Hunnell. "[Abortion care] is a basic fundamental right and the right to decide the outcome of a pregnancy should rest with the person who is pregnant."
