Intimidation is still stopping women from negotiating their salaries

Many workers dread salary negotiations — the idea of asking for more money strikes many workers, especially those just starting their careers, as just plain awkward. But for women, the discomfort often runs deeper.

Career support platform ResumeBuilder surveyed over 1,400 full-time workers this month on the topic of salary negotiations, finding that only 32% of women have negotiated their pay in the past two years, compared to 49% of men. Given the gender pay gap still stands at 83 cents for every man's dollar, women need salary negotiations to close the divide as much as possible, underlines Julia Toothacre, resume and career strategist at ResumeBuilder. And yet, a few factors are stopping them.

"The top three reasons women don't negotiate are because they are afraid they will lose the offer, they are too intimidated, and the offer was more than they previously made," says Toothacre. "These reasons tell me that lack of research and trust in their abilities is the deeper reason."

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These factors are at play for all women, regardless of seniority or years of experience. In fact, women in director or executive positions were 19% more likely than women in lower-level roles to say their gender persuaded them not to negotiate, according to ResumeBuilder. Toothacre notes that women at the top of an organization likely felt they had far more to lose if they overplayed their hand.

"There are limited higher-level positions and men still occupy the majority of them — when women feel they have to fight harder for a position, they aren't going to do anything to jeopardize it," she says. "Having said that, it's the higher levels where you have more negotiation power because you are likely being hired for a specific reason. Most organizations aren't willing to lose a top candidate in a higher position because they want to negotiate their base salary or other options."

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However, even if a woman pushes herself to negotiate, it doesn't mean she will be successful. ResumeBuilder also found that 42% of women who negotiated their pay achieved what they wanted, versus 55% of men. Does that mean men are better negotiators, or are women up against systematic barriers to competitive pay? For Toothacre, it's one and the same: Women are less experienced with negotiations because these barriers have historically kept them from lucrative careers, or even just speaking up for themselves, she says. Then when women do ask for better pay, leaders are less likely to take them seriously.

"There are internal and external reasons for women being less successful at negotiations," she says. "Internally, women must trust their experience and abilities and be confident they are worth more. Externally, I think people still hold bias toward gender that is reflected in salary offers. While many HR departments try to mitigate these things from happening, they still happen."

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Notably, both women and men agree that the primary reason to negotiate pay is because their current pay does not match the value they bring to the company. Toothacre encourages women to recognize their worth and identify their accomplishments and skills throughout the year, instead of waiting until a performance review or job offer to articulate their value.

Toothacre also advises women to ask for help — no one has to do this on their own.

"Confidence in yourself will come from within, but external validation will especially help those who doubt themselves," says Toothacre. "Seek out friends, mentors or coaches who can help you identify your core skills, qualities, and experiences so you approach the salary negotiation knowing you're a good fit. Remember: If you're negotiating the salary, then you're qualified and they want to hire you."