'Empty nest syndrome' is the latest mental health battle for working parents

Now that parents have dropped their children off at college for a new school year, they're heading back home alone. The transition can lead to an unexpected emotional dip. 

"'Empty nest syndrome' is a really interesting phenomenon for parents who have built a life around a child being in their house, and then the kid leaves the nest," says Laurel McKenzie, behavioral scientist at digital coaching platform, CoachHub. "The symptoms and effects of losing a really important emotional connection in your life can come up as depression, anxiety and a loss of identity." 

While empty nest syndrome is not a clinical diagnosis, parents can feel a sense of loss similar to the grieving process, McKenzie says. Typically, these feelings last around three months before parents — and their kids — find their new normal. 

"It's more of the initial separation, because it goes from a consistent and constant person in your life, in your house, to not," she says. "That empty nest syndrome dissipates once a parent has started to learn and adapt to life without this person in their space, whether they like it or not." 

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The transition can also bring up new questions around their purpose at work, too, McKenzie says. Without their child as a primary focus, they may now be thinking about their career and making choices around pursuing a new path with more meaning for them. 

"Motivation for their job may really change, and parents start to question things all over again, like they did when their baby first entered their lives," she says. "Some parents may look at making adjustments to what they're trying to do with their lives now that their kids are no longer in the picture." 

For employers and managers, any shift in an employee's routine could signal a dip in productivity, focus or motivation. Leaders should be attuned to these transitional periods and offer an opportunity to talk, as well as additional employee benefits around mental health support. 

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One way to do this well before an employee's child goes off to college is to have a positive rapport between managers and direct reports, McKenzie says. Conducting frequent check-ins can not only encourage employees to open up if they're struggling, but can potentially create opportunities for an employee to grow professionally at their current organization. 

"Leadership can be sympathetic on some of the harder days, but they can also be more aware of potentially, what that employee is thinking in terms of where they want to take their career," McKenzie says. "The manager can help adjust to find internal solutions or internal mobility." 

Bringing in the expertise of a third-party coach can also be beneficial for employees going through a life transition. While not a therapist, a coach can listen and help guide employees toward finding their motivation and purpose now that parenthood may be secondary. 

"A coach is there to listen and help them navigate this change and what they want to do with their time," she says. "How can they reinvigorate themselves and find motivation? And if they start to display clinical symptoms, coaches are trained to spot those and recommend more clinical care." 

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While the first weeks and months of an empty nest may feel especially emotional and challenging, McKenzie says it's important to remember it's a phase of life and will pass. Additionally, many parents are in the same boat — employees should reach out to each other and talk about their feelings as a way to connect. 

"It's OK to reach out to other parents who are going through the same thing so that they can go through it together," McKenzie says. "This is not a permanent state of being — things will get better and you'll find new sources of fulfillment and satisfaction."